


ai no katamari (jesse/oc)

by jc_lewis



Category: SixTONES (Band)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Romantic Fluff, burning kind of slow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:34:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28738830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jc_lewis/pseuds/jc_lewis
Summary: Jesse always advertised he was never one to believe in love at first sight. That’s what made every encounter special to him. But perhaps 2019 was really the year of gifts. Because on a night early in the year, Jesse found himself seated next to a very special woman at a friend’s birthday celebration.
Relationships: Jesse Lewis/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i've been working on this (self-indulgent) brainworm for WEEKS now and finally decided to say fk it and just post it. it's been a hot minute since i wrote some OC content and tbh it aint much different this time. jesse's love interests will always be fairly similar (hm, i wonder why? lmao) 
> 
> anyways, this is an ode to "ai no katamari" by kinki kids so catch me sprinkling in lyrics here and there! i've loved this song for at least 10 years and you should too! <3 
> 
> let me know what you think! enjoy~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "ai no katamari" - kinki kids

When Jesse was a junior, he decided that staying in his shell would never get him to the places he wanted to reach. And so he made a pact with himself when he turned 20. Jesse needed to meet as many people as he could. 

That was when he found himself at more dinners than he could care to think about, and to be frank he always advertised he was never one to believe in love at first sight. That’s what made every encounter special to him. 

But perhaps 2019 was really the year of gifts. Because on a night early in the year, Jesse found himself seated next to a very special woman at a friend’s birthday celebration.

“Is this seat taken?” Jesse leaned over to ask quietly as he snuck in late from a shooting that went over time.

She turned and Jesse’s face was only arm’s length apart from hers, “No, go ahead.” She responded. 

He smiled and nodded thanks. To this day, she remembered his smile and how he smelled like muted wood sage and fresh citrus cologne the first day they met. 

They were in a private banquet room, bustling with activity and networking. This was when she noticed every time she turned to her left Jesse was out of his seat, at a different part of the room. In no time, he made his way around the whole room. She swore she wasn’t trying to keep track, but she couldn’t help but notice his presence.

“What’s your name?” When Jesse came back to his seat, he inquired. They hadn’t talked yet all night, yet even at first sight she caught his attention. Her almond shaped eyes, silky hair, and in particular her quiet demeanor, mostly the way she smiled. 

“Anna Lee” She said and politely smiled, “You are?”

He noticed the slight accent in her voice, and it was unexpectedly cute, something he could resonate with as someone known for bad Japanese. 

“Jesse.” He said, “Uh, Lewis.” He gives his full name out of respect, for anyone who doesn’t care that he’s a celebrity. 

“So Jesse-san, you’re a Johnny's?” It was obvious to Anna, at least. He was far too handsome to not be one of the many idols in attendance. 

Jesse smiled, “How do you figure?” He wasn’t sure if he was happy to be recognized or happy to be recognized by the girl he’d been stealing glances at all night. 

“Well, you are far too handsome to not be one.” Anna was honest. From the sound of it, Jesse was bi-racial too; he’s definitely popular. It was like everything about him stood out. 

“Thank you.” It took everything in him to not make a lame joke. His grin widened and he felt his ears get red. _Damn it, Lewis. Get a grip._

Later he would realize that on that night, it wasn’t that Anna was the most beautiful girl in the room. In fact, they had hardly spoken more beyond the small exchange. But it was her subtle mannerism, how she politely but genuinely engaged with everyone. She always tried. Not too loudly, she never stole attention. But not too coldly, she made people feel comfortable. 

From across the room, he stealthily watched her joke around with both her girlfriends and the people she had just met. It was the way she passed a napkin to her friend before she realized she needed it, it was the way she moved a glass from the edge of the table before it was drunkenly knocked off the surface, and how it was all while she was drinking and holding herself together. 

_Where does such a small person put all that alcohol?_

Jesse knew his behavior was stalkerish. He knew it was borderline sleazy. But perhaps this was what they called six senses. 

Jesse and Anna were amongst the last ones to leave that night. Jesse, because he never went home first - there was no one waiting for him at home anyways. Anna, because she stayed after to help the organizers clean up. 

“ Jesse, you should walk Anna to the train station.” His friend suggested. It was late at night after all. 

Jesse turned to Anna, “Do you mind?”

“Yes.” She caught him off guard. 

“Joking.” She cracked into a laugh, “Sorry, I need to sprint. The last train is here in exactly 7 minutes.”

“Bye Jesse!” And before he could react, she dashed off. 

_That was when he realized. When she smiled, it was like when the cloud parted on a cold winter morning. Warm and radiant._

* * *

“You _have_ to help me, Juri.” Jesse stalked the man from one side of the dressing room to the other.

“Why?” He absentmindedly replied while trying to rehearse the cue cards. 

“Cuz” Jesse paused, “you gotta.”

“What’s wrong?” Shintaro overheard Jesse and turned around, chopsticks in his mouth like fangs while standing in front of the microwave waiting for his food to heat.

“Nice one.” Jesse stopped to laugh at his walrus fangs. Shintaro cracked a laugh too. He knew Jesse would get it.

“What’s up?” He brought his piping hot food to the table and sat across from Jesse.

“I can’t just _ask_ like a normal person. I'm Johnny's afterall.” He said with excessive pride.

“Don’t start your story in the middle, you idiot.”

“ There’s this girl.”

“Okay…” Shintaro slurped his noodles.

“I need her number. I like her. ” Jesse looked genuinely bothered. He’s always just asked. No matter the status of the musician, comedian, host, actor - it didn’t matter. But girl problems are always what trips him. 

The two youngest sat in silence as they contemplated the many possible routes Jesse could endeavor. 

“Just use a wing man like a normal person.” Juri suddenly blurted from across the room. He really couldn’t stand his bandmate losing his shit over nothing. 

_Wingman, huh?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "ai no katamari" - kinki kids

Over the next few days, it took a few phone calls, secondary connections, and cups of coffee for Jesse to find out who Anna was and most importantly, to get her phone number with her consent. 

Much like Jesse’s style, he asked if he could buy her a cup of coffee almost immediately. To which, she promptly and politely refused. 

“Maybe next time.” was what Anna said to Jesse and he took the rejection with grace. Afterall, persistence was the name of the game Jesse excelled at. 

She remembered being taken aback by Jesse’s persistence at first, but impressed almost immediately thereafter. There weren’t many people who could pull it off. 

_“Isn’t this cute?”_ was the first message Jesse sent a week after she declined coffee. It came with a picture of a stuffed animal. 

Anna smiled at the picture, but wasn’t sure how to respond. 

A minute later, Jesse sent another picture - a selfie with him and the plush. 

_Well isn’t he a doll?_ So she figured she could play along, “ _You or the plush?_ ” 

Although she put her phone down to return to work, later that day they had another pleasant albeit long and random conversation about why she thought aliens were real and how Valentine’s Day is merely a commercial fabrication. 

And that trend persisted. Jesse always provided the perfect amount of listening and telling. Of space and of engagement. When he found out she adored his little anecdotes, he made it a habit to tell her something interesting every morning. These stories were the cream to her coffee. Indulgent, sweet, and kind of a guilty pleasure. 

She would be lying if she said she didn’t google him that night she got home from the dinner. 

Conclusion: _Impossibly handsome. Ridiculously in a different league. Kind of young._

When this continued for the next three months to her surprise, Anna worried. Where was this going? Yet somehow she was able to push those thoughts away. She wanted to bask in the simple joys of Jesse Lewis. On the other end, the more Jesse got to know Anna, the more intrigued he was. Sometimes she was hard to break through on the surface; other times she seemed so gullible and full of susceptibilities, in an endearing naive way. Mostly because she struggled with the Japanese language in the same ways he did sometimes. 

Sometimes he would ask to call her and she would let him. 

“How was work?” His voice was soothing, low without the usual upbeat cheer. 

“Just ended.” She let out a small sigh. Her feet and body ached from the long day of heel-wearing, mentally exhausted from the cursed culture of drinking and networking _after_ work.

“ _Otsukare._ ” He replied with a small laugh, “Are you home yet?” 

“Still walking.” Anna replied.

“Hm, where are you right now?” 

“Exactly? By the 7-11 in front of the university in Shibuya?”

“Stay right there.” He instructed. 

Because it was late and her feet hurt, Anna listened to Jesse and took a break. Whatever he was up to, she trusted him. It really wasn’t until she sat down that she realized how alcohol was hitting. Massaging her ankles, ten minutes quickly went by before Anna realized and a Jesse who sprinted there stood in front of her. 

“Hey.” He was panting, but forced a smile in between his loud breathing. 

“Here. I brought this.” He handed her a bottle of water, “For you.” He finished.

Anna tried, but failed to hide her smile. _What was he being so cute for?_

She took the water from him, unscrewed the cap, and handed it back to Jesse, “You need it.” She laughed. 

And then Jesse also broke out laughing and took a seat next to Anna, his arm brushing against hers. Then there it was, the wicked butterflies that fluttered about and she wasn’t sure if she was just drunk. Seeing Anna like this, even though it was only their second meeting, Jesse reaffirmed that - man, she was cute as hell. Her cheeks slightly flushed, her heels kicked off, and even her eyes slightly dazed she was still so imperfectly great.

They watched cars drive by on the restless streets of Shibuya. When she thought about how she was blatantly meeting with an idol in the middle of the night she expected to feel scared, but perhaps it was the liquid courage inside of her - but maybe it was because it was Jesse.

Anna started to hate how she threw away logic when it came to Jesse, and how she couldn’t stop finding every little thing he did cute - the way he fumbled over his words when he explained he was coming from the agency which was nearby and the way he kindly brought her a change of shoe in case she was tired from walking in heels and then offered to walk her home when he found out she lived in Ebisu. 

“Is it really okay...I mean, for _you_? to walk all the way to my place?” Perhaps she wasn’t as fearless as she thought she was. 

“Oh, it’s totally okay.” He replied, “There’s a lot about idols you don’t know.” He raised his eyebrows devilishly 

“Hm?” She pretended to be intrigued.

“Come on. Let’s get you home.” He stood up and started walking and she waddled right behind him in the oversized sandals Jesse brought with him. When she strolled beside him, Anna kept stealing glances at him. She knew he was a great guy, his actions always spoke louder than his words, yet when he did talk his voice was always reassuring. 

_To the many drunken night walks home alone, I’m glad you were here tonight, Jesse._

* * *

That night, after Jesse walked her home for the first time, he promptly asked her out on a first date officially. It was hard to say no and so Anna agreed. 

Because he couldn’t drive, Jesse sheepishly showed up at Anna’s apartment in the morning and she drove the two of them. He wanted it to be a surprise, so she blindly drove according to his navigation. As it turned out, Jesse was a better shotgun than she imagined. He played great music, gave clear instructions, and she laughed the whole time. 

They pulled into a small town outside Tokyo, where the roads are narrow and the streets are sparse. When Anna asked how he knew about this place, at first he said it was a secret, but eventually spilled the beans about coming here for a renovation project for a show he was on. 

“You’re on a _renovation_ show?” She exclaimed, genuinely surprised, “I thought idols only sing and dance.”

“Well, what can I say? Do you need a new bedside table or chair?” He joked, “I got you.” 

“Shut up.” 

They were seemingly always on the same wavelength and time flew by. Despite still learning brand new things about each other, it came natural. Natural in the way that they agreed to order something different and then shared, in the way they both disliked fancy first dates, and in the way he ate everything she didn’t like and vice versa. 

After brunch, Jesse led Anna to a small trail by a creek and took a scenic walk. He remembered her telling him about missing the smell of the lake from her childhood summer vacation with her family.. 

“Sorry, this isn’t a lake but…” Jesse turned to Anna, “Hope you like it.” 

She beamed, “This is perfect.” The sound of the water running against the rocks in the creek was relaxing. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and Jesse breathed a quiet sigh of relief that she liked it. 

“You know, I’ve always wanted to bring my girlfriend here.” 

After a pause, Anna replied, “Did you think you were going to find a girlfriend today?” 

He wasn’t sure where this was going, but he went for it anyways. 

“I don’t know, do I?” He corrected himself, “Or I guess, do you?” 

“Let me think about it.” She ducked the question and turned around running away. 

“Come on!” He chased after her, laughing. 

They spent the rest of the afternoon exploring the small town. Even though Jesse took a leap and asked the question, it seemed like it was hardly on either of their minds. Being in each other’s company was more important and putting a name to it was secondary to Jesse. 

When they got back into the car, Jesse decided on an impromptu destination. And although spontaneity scared Anna sometimes, somehow it wasn’t as nerve racking with Jesse. By the time they arrived, it was nightfall and they parked next to an open field. 

“Jesse...Where are we?” 

“Hm…” He looked around, seemingly searching for something instead of answering her question.

“Is this the part where you murder me and dump my body here?” 

He chuckled, “Come on!” Jesse unbuckled his and Anna’s seat belt and dragged her out of the car, “I have something to show you. Hopefully we can see it tonight!”

In the field void of city lights, the stars were brighter than ever, but the beaten dirt path was also darker than ever. Anna follows Jesse out of the car and out of fear, she moves closer behind him and grabs the corner of his sleeve. 

“Please tell me it gets more romantic, Jesse.” She looked around nervously.

“Trust me.” He gently moved her hand off of his sleeve and into his hand, grasping her hand firmly for the first time. This was the moment she knew Jesse Lewis was the man she had been searching for her whole life. 

Jesse took Anna’s hand and held it in his behind his back as he guided her along. When they arrived, she finally saw what Jesse was trying to show her. In the barren field, there were little twinkling lights fluttering about, albeit scarce and few she had never seen how beautifully they glowed against the velvet night sky. 

“If we come back in the summer, it’s even prettier. I promise.” He grinned stupidly, proud of his work.

“They are _so_ cute!” She watched the fireflies blink like an enamored child. 

Seeing how happy Anna was, Jesse took the chance to ask her the second question he prepared, “So...do you want to come see a show? Say next week?”

He pulled out two tickets from his pocket, “You can bring a friend!”

Anna pretended to consider, “Hmm. No.” 

“Wow, _brutal_.” He was so sure he could impress her tonight.

“I’m kidding.” Teasing him was always so fun.

She continued, “I’m out of the country next week. Add me on LINE. My number won’t work.” 

Relieved, he dug out his phone and added her on LINE, “Okay, done.” He was smiling again. 

But Anna wasn’t done, “I think you did it wrong. Give me your phone.”

Jesse handed it over obediently and then leaned over to see what she was up to. She went into her own contact card and edited the nickname:

**_My girlfriend._ **

Jesse felt his ears warm up, and he couldn’t hide the wide grin off his face, “You’re sly.”

“ _Yoroshiku_.” She tilted her head cutely and held her hand out for a handshake, except Jesse grabbed her hand and pulled her in for a hug instead. When they parted, he looked into her eyes for a split second before swooping in for their first kiss. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 思いきり抱き寄せられると心  
> あなたでよかったと歌うの  
> X’mas なんていらないくらい  
> 日々が愛のかたまり  
> 明日の朝も愛し合うよね
> 
> holding you tightly with all my body and soul  
> i sing because I'm glad it's you  
> so much that I don't even need Christmas  
> these days are a bundle of love  
> we'll love again tomorrow morning, won't we?
> 
> -ai no katamari by kinki kids

When Jesse told his group mates that he is officially a boyfriend again, everyone rejoiced, if nothing but for the fact that he would stop clinging onto them 24/7. As it turned out, there was a bet circulating in the group about whether he would be successful. Both Kochi and Juri betted against Jesse, for the reason that girls nowadays don’t like a man who can’t drive. 

But Jesse was too perfect otherwise, and sometimes Anna hated how he was the perfect amount of everything. Alas dating was never easy. They had both respectively been single for at least a year. Sometimes Anna would forget that she had a boyfriend, and sometimes Jesse would fall asleep in the middle of phone calls because he had to cram in girlfriend time amongst his already packed schedule. 

Because Jesse’s apartment was a 50 minute train ride outside of Tokyo, from time to time he would stay at Anna’s place which was down the street from the office. 

“Pass me the plate please?” She wiped her hand on her apron while prepping dinner. It was a rare night that both of them were without plans. 

“Coming ~ ” Jesse shot up from his seat like an excited puppy, where he was staring intently at his girlfriend cook. 

He reached over Anna into the tall cabinets to fetch the plates. For a short person, he really wasn’t sure why she kept her plates so high up. 

Surprised by Jesse who suddenly towered behind her, she jumped, “Jesse! Not those, I already set ours on the table already, you dingus.” 

He shrugged his shoulder and laughed sheepishly before cracking a lame pun, that she wasn’t even sure she got but laughed along anyways. 

“You know, I could watch you cook  _ all _ day long.” He leaned against the counter behind Anna and handed a plate to her. 

“You better marry a chef then.” She turned to retrieve the plate from him. 

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, “You’re too cute.” 

“Cut it out. Take your food and go eat.”

“Am I a dog?” He laughed as he set the two plates down on the table.

Their playful banter made it hard to tell that they had only been dating for merely a few months. There was no shy pretentiousness nor any strange awkwardness. 

After dinner, the couple snuggled up on the couch to watch a movie because Anna swore she needed to show Jesse all the classic romance movies. He was against the idea initially, but gave in after she repeatedly insisted. 

First they watched Sleepless in Seattle, and if it were Jesse a year ago, he would’ve mocked the idea of a perfect soulmate. But today he saw it in a new light. 

And of course Anna had to show him The Notebook. She had quietly cuddled against him throughout the whole movie, but when they watched Allie read Noah’s letter towards the end, she felt Jesse’s fingers interlock with hers and he gently squeezed her hand. 

_ The best kind of love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more... _

She heard a quiet sniffle and looked up to see Jesse quietly shedding tears. 

“Aw...it’s okay…” She snuggled closer in hopes to make him feel better. 

“Isn’t regret the biggest shame in the world? The way it could have been?” The movie was making him reflective and sensitive and that was all too precious for this world. Anna wished she could take a snapshot and save it in her pocket and keep it forever. 

“It is, but baby it will work out.” She held his face in her hand and ran her thumb over his chin, “I know you don’t believe in fateful encounters, but isn’t that why we are here right now?” She smiled. 

And it was like the first day he met her, the way her smile could warm up even a cold winter night. Jesse wasn’t sure what he had done so right to deserve a love so pure and wonderful; he prayed every day he would not lose what they have. 

“I love you.” On a whim, the words rolled out of his mouth. 

“You what?” 

“Love you.” 

It wasn’t until a few moments later he became fully aware that this was the first time he’s said it out loud. For some reason that he never figured out, he was so sure she would reciprocate it. 

“I love you too, Jesse. More than you will ever know.” And more than she will ever even know. 

“Come to Vegas with me next week.” Jesse blurted out of the blue, “Meet the rest of my family.” 

He wasn’t sure if this was too fast or too slow, but it seemed like a good idea at the moment. 

“Come on, it’ll be fun. I’m going for work anyway. No one will know me there.” 

“Okay, only if you come see my parents with me too.” And it was decided they would take a road trip to California together too, where Anna’s parents lived. 

“I’m glad we’re doing this.” Jesse let out a small laugh that twinkled if laughs could do that. He patted her head, smoothing down her hair and tucking a loose lock of hair behind her ear. 

“Me too. I love you.” Anna loved that now she could freely tell him she loves him. 

“But first thing’s first.” He paused and stared into her eyes lovingly for only a few moments before gently knocking her over on the couch. She complied as he climbed on top of her and when their eyes met, he slowly and carefully leaned down to kiss her. Barely at first, and then harder, deeper, and with more love. 

For better or for worse, Jesse never found out how The Notebook ended.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 心配性すぎなあなたは  
> 電車に乗せるのを嫌がる  
> まるで かよわい女の子みたいで  
> なんだか嬉しいの
> 
> you who are too prone to worrying  
> hate (for me) to take the train  
> just as though i am a delicate woman  
> somehow, it makes me happy
> 
> -ai no katamari by kinki kids

“Jes, we are  _ not  _ going to have this fight again.” It was 3 in the morning. She sounded tired over the phone, having just gotten back from the airport after landing two hours ago. 

He scratched his neck over and over, out of frustration until it grew red, “ I’m sorry.” He wasn’t sure what else to say, except to apologize. 

“Don’t apologize. It’s fine.” She hated the person she was in fights, like she was the one who cared less because she was just more logical. 

“Are we okay?” Part of him just wants her to get some rest, but the other part wishes she could be in front of him right now, where he could touch her and hold her. And every time they always fought over him wanting to see her right away. 

It was this part of the relationship that made him feel useless and powerless. If only. If only he had the courage to choose her more, to compromise more, to give more. And even then, he felt that she wouldn’t choose Jesse over her career and it was her job to be away for extended periods of time.

He too wanted to debut and it was already his biggest compromise fighting to stay with her despite pressure from management for the group to end their romantic relationships. 

“Yeah... I’m sorry too.” She replied as she rubbed her forehead, stressed. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to see him either, but it didn’t make sense for them to waste time running back and forth when their schedules clashed so much. But it was the fifth time this month they fought over this same exact issue. 

“Good night, baby.” His voice had given up. And they left it at that. 

At some point, when the couple had their first fights, it was all because of some ridiculously minor thing. Like how she always worried too much about him. Although he thinks it’s funny how she treats him like a frail woman sometimes, for some reason it always made him happy. He remembered the time Anna told him she hated Jesse taking the train, because she always worried for his safety as an idol. She was serious, yet it was the cutest thing for his girlfriend a whole head shorter to want to protect him. 

But today’s fight felt different. And Jesse hated it. He stared at his blank phone screen after hanging up, hoping something would happen and that something would fix it. He couldn’t stop thinking, so much he couldn’t catch a wink of sleep and before he knew it, the sun was rising. 

Anna woke up to the sound of her phone buzzing at 6:30 a.m. When she saw it was Jesse, she scurried and picked it up, worried that it was a dire emergency. 

“Hello?” Her voice was scratchy and sleepy from the early morning.

“Let’s move in together.” Even in her half-asleep form, she could tell his voice was firm but he hadn’t slept much at all. 

“Jesse…” 

“I’m serious. Anna.” 

Some day she loved his energy, other days she hated his spontaneity. And she wasn’t sure which day it was, but truth be told she had been giving it consideration before he even brought it up. She too was tired of missing him, and tired of dating his voicemail.

“Jesse, listen to me, okay?” 

“Hm?”

“I know it’s early and I just woke up, but remind me later - ” She started to say, her voice half cracking. 

“Yes?”

“Let’s do it.”

The two of them never figured out whether this was what everyone called compatibility, but when they agreed - decisions were made so swiftly it even takes both of them by surprise. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 子供みたいにあまえる顔も  
> 急に男らしくなる顔も  
> あたしにはすべてが宝物  
> 幾度となく見させて
> 
> your childish expressions asking for attention  
> and your sudden manly expressions  
> are all treasures of mine  
> show them to me again and again
> 
> -ai no katamari by kinki kids

Anna doesn’t think she would ever get over Jesse’s sleeping face. It was peaceful, perfect she’d argue, she loved staring at it. She wanted to run her fingers over his jawline, where his chiseled face looked relaxed like a sleeping baby. And the way his lips pursed into a perfect curve always looked so endearing. In the morning, Anna always leaned over and kissed him on the forehead before all else, sometimes much to Jesse’s annoyance. 

After moving in together, the two had to mesh their routines together and that meant they woke up at different times. And as the seasons changed, the time which Anna got out of bed seemed earlier and earlier. 

But it didn’t matter to them, as long as they could go home to each other every night. So long as the other person was there - it was home. Besides, living together made it incredibly easy for Anna to steal Jesse’s clothes. Jesse claimed he hated when his t-shirts would go missing, but he also laughed the loudest when she danced around with his long sleeves draping a foot too long for her short arms. 

Likewise, she always went to bed before Jesse. Sometimes he stayed up late, playing games with his friends, other times he was practicing his guitar. It really didn’t bother her, but Jesse always insisted on laying in bed with her until she fell asleep before resuming his own activities again. 

What Jesse didn’t know initially was how light of a sleeper Anna was. Hours after Anna had fallen asleep every night, she’d always wake when he was climbing into bed. 

For a brief moment, Anna would hear rustling and even half asleep she knew it was Jesse getting ready to sleep. He would tip toe into the room and see a curled up ball under the covers. He knew her little habits - how she always sleeps on her left side and gets cold easily, but hated sleeping with socks. 

Carefully, Jesse would find his way under the cover, settle in, and then always made sure to scoop her into his embrace. Half the time she would be pretending to be sleeping, and she would know when he kissed her forehead after tucking her loose locks of hair back. What she didn’t know was how it was this exact moment Jesse looked forward to every day, and how just merely looking at her sleeping face filled his heart. 

“ _ I love you. _ ” He would always mouth without making a noise and his mouth curls into a little smile. 

Jesse always gave her a kind of security she didn’t know was possible. That the world could crumble and it would fall on Jesse’s shoulders to hold up her sky. 

Not long after living together, the stay at home period started, and they were sad they had to forgo their housewarming party, but they suddenly had loads of time together, which the couple was thankful for. 

Although Jesse was less busy than Anna, working at home together she found new sides of Jesse she didn’t know he had. 

“The reception could exponentially be better for the fans and the general audience if we did it this way” He would say. 

“We have to put the fans first.” She always heard Jesse being adamant about this. 

He used words like ‘revenue’ and ‘production value’ that she didn’t know was part of his vocabulary, nor did she imagine musicians participated in the business meetings. 

There was something magical about working from home together that helped her discover new sides of Jesse Lewis. Sometimes she secretly observed the way his brows would furrow when he was amidst a serious discussion with their producers, the way he would laugh wholeheartedly when he was connected remotely for a television program. It was entrancing and sometimes she caught herself lost looking at Jesse on the other side of the camera. 

Jesse always made it so easy for Anna to forget how charismatic he was at his job. Their relationship was not perfect by any means, but Jesse made it so easy for her. That, she was endlessly thankful for. 

“Ahhhhhhh. It’s finally over.” Jesse jumped up after his call ended and threw himself on the couch, stretched out, spilling over the sides of the furniture, “Come herrrrrrrrrrrre.” He made his usual whining noise and Anna knew it was his usual call for attention.

“Is that a mating call?” She let out a soft chuckle, as she sat down on the edge of the sofa where he was laying. Jesse was always so much like an overgrown child. Precious and pure, so much she wished he could shrink and fit in her pocket; then she could carry him around like a trinket. 

“What if it is?” He grabbed her by her waist and pulled her down next to him aggressively. 

“Inappropriate.” She tried hard to not laugh, “I have a meeting in 10 minutes. Stop it.” She laughed, but Jesse wasn’t joking. He kissed her neck and her stomach fluttered. How was it possible that he still made her flushed with emotions?

Jesse always made sure to remind her how in-between his childlike demeanor and boyish laugh lived a man, one who was serious and crazy about her. One who was incredibly manly when the occasion rose. 

_ Dammit Lewis.  _

“10 minutes is enough, Anna” He whispered and she could feel his warm breath on her, his face inches away. 

“Don’t be so horny, sir.” 

“Huh?”

“Nothing.” She snuggled into him. 

“Fine. I’ll spare you for today.” He could smell her hair. It smelled like fresh roses and a hint of him. He smiled and instinctively patted the back of her head gently, hoping nothing about them ever changes. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> あまりに愛が大きすぎると  
> 失うことを思ってしまうの
> 
> sometimes when our love becomes too great,  
> we become terrified of losing it 
> 
> -ai no katamari by kinki kids

Jesse watched the convenience store door slide open. And then close again. And open again. He sat at the counter, blankly staring into the distance pondering what went wrong. 

He was still processing the fight. Part of him wanted to cry. And god, he never cried. 

After sitting at the 7-11 for an hour, Jesse finally felt calm enough to leave and talk to someone about it. There weren’t too many people he’d trust; but there was one person he always knew he could count on. 

“Jesse? What…” Shintaro opened his door and Jesse stood there in shorts and slides, sheepishly and not sure what to do with his hands. He didn’t even look like he meant to be there. 

“Hi?” He was a beat slower in putting his hand up to greet Shintaro. 

“Why didn’t you call me?” Shintaro moved out of the doorway to let Jesse through. 

Jesse chuckled. He always did this when he wasn’t sure what to say, “Somehow I ended up here. Shintaro doesn’t want me here?” He purposely sounded whiny and pouted as he slid into a pair of Shintaro’s guest slippers. 

“I mean, you’re always welcomed but…” It was 2 a.m. and Shintaro watched Jesse in confusion mid-teeth brushing. 

“Anna kicked me out.” Jesse finally came forth with the truth, “Uh, we had a big fight.” He slumped into Shintaro’s couch, trying to keep his emotions beneath the surface. 

Jesse sighed, “Said she didn’t want to see me”

Shintaro followed him in after locking the door, “That’s impossible. She's not that kind of person.”

“Excuse me? You’re on her side? ” Jesse sat up. Apparently his best friend was now siding with his girlfriend. 

“Of course we’re homies.” Shintaro screamed from the bathroom as he finished rinsing his mouth of toothpaste, “What the fuck did you say anyways?”

“Tried to stop her from taking a promotion.” Jesse admitted. Damn, hearing it out loud made him feel that much worse about it. 

“Shut up.” Even Shintaro knew she would never agree to that. It was also very out of Jesse’s character to do that. 

“I know.” He sighed again, “But it was overseas.” He tried to defend himself, but his argument came out weak.

“Beer?” Shintaro leaned over his fridge examining its contents. 

“You got tequila?”

“Fuck.” 

Shintaro knew they were not sleeping that night. He knew the drill. Sad to say that Jesse Lewis, with six whole feet of handsome, was dumped and heartbroken more than anyone could imagine. And in moments of despair, Shintaro was always there. 

He dug out the bottle of Patron from his bottom drawer and started cutting lime slices, and in between he’d catch Jesse staring at his phone, probably wondering what he should do next. He was ridden with guilt, but also of confusion and hints of fear peeked through on his face. What if this was the end? What if he ruined it? 

The younger boy handed Jesse a slice of lime followed by a tall shot glass filled with a clear liquid. Without missing a beat, Jesse took it and chugged it, scrunching his nose at its strong taste and the after burn in his throat. 

“Now slowly.” Shintaro grabbed a throw pillow and settled on the couch next to his best friend, “Tell me exactly what happened.” 

Shintaro’s voice was like a tranquilizer, and it always worked on Jesse. 

“Anna came home today and said we needed to talk.” Just repeating those words tied his stomach into a knot. 

“They offered her a promotion to do something she’s always wanted to do. But it’s full time overseas.” 

“Hmm.” Shintaro only nodded along, listening intently. And Jesse isn’t sure what he was expecting from Shintaro anyways. He just needed someone to know and possibly tell him that he fucked up. 

“I told her to choose me.” He had to pause to collect himself again, “I told her it was either me or the job. And god….I know how much she _hates_ that.” Jesse ruffled his own hair out of frustration, “I’m such an idiot.”

Shintaro patted him on the shoulder in consolation, “You really are, especially when you’re in love.” Jesse was always Jesse, inside out, but he was still always in awe at the gap between work Jesse and private Jesse. Work Jesse was cool, goofy, but confident - but private Jesse - was more vulnerable, less upbeat, but the kindest person in the world. 

Jesse ran his fingers through his hair again and got up to pour himself and Shintaro another drink. Shintaro smirked a little as he watched Jesse find his whiskey and pour himself a glass of highball, “Bitch, you know exactly where I stash my alcohol.” 

Shintaro always did the impossible and made Jesse laugh in this kind of situation, “It’s because I was the one who hid them. Not after last time.” 

Jesse handed Shintaro his glass, “You made me distract everyone in the dressing room.”

“Oh yeah,” He chuckled, “As I secretly ran to the bathroom to throw up. God, I was _so_ hungover.” 

“No shit.” 

Seemed like with Shintaro, they always went through the craziest shenanigans. Anna or not, Jesse wouldn’t trade Shintaro for the world. 

“Listen, Jesse.” Shintaro straightened himself and perhaps it was one of his few moments of wisdom. 

“Hm?” 

“Sometimes, you just…” He searched hard for the right words, “love _so_ hard, that you become absolutely paralyzed in the fear of losing.” He let out a soft chuckle to lighten the mood, “Don’t be so scared.” 

The older boy looked down, wondering how and if he had always been such a coward. 

“You gave up your debut bonus to be with Anna.” Shintaro continued, “You even signed that stupid extra conditional clause saying you’d let them do whatever with you if the paparazzi got wind of your relationship!” 

It was true Jesse fought tooth and nail to be with her. And for a while everyone was bitter at him, for risking it all on everyone’s behalf. But he was firm about his decision and he knew it was the right one. 

“All I want to say is, you know she is worth fighting for, Jesse.” Shintaro finished. If he knew Jesse, he just needed to clear his head and then he will think it through and be back on the right path. It was Jesse, afterall. The North Star everyone followed. 

Jesse was quiet after hearing Shintaro’s words, because they were exactly what he needed to hear. He knew he needed to stop beating himself up and stand up to face the problem. But for now, they both needed to cool their heads. 

Shintaro slapped him on the back gently, “But for now, if you want to just drink, I’m all yours.” He smiled that boyish smile of his. It was a dependable smile, one that always put Jesse at ease. 

Jesse smiled back, “Thank you.” 

“You bet.” 


	7. Chapter 7

When the door closed behind Jesse, Anna knew she had let her emotions take over and immediately the regret sank in. She wanted to run after him and tell him to come back, that she was sorry, that she didn’t mean it, but she was stuck in place. 

She sat in the empty room and buried her head between her hands, trying hard to fight back tears. She fought for so long, yet the inevitable still happened. How did this come about? Anna wished, and wished she never had to tell Jesse that since the beginning of their relationship she had doubts. 

Doubts that they were indeed from two separate worlds. 

That their lines were not coinciding, that they were in fact adjacent lines, and that they merely met at the crossroads of life, at a fleeting moment in time. She never said it because Jesse always reassured her that no matter what happens, he will be there. Yet in his moment of vulnerability, Anna couldn’t be there for him. Her biggest insecurities drove him away, the only thing in her life that meant more than herself. 

She tilted her head back, in an attempt to keep the tears from falling, but the warm droplets still streamed down her face and her non-existent wall crumbled. 

It wasn’t about the job, or the promotion, or where they were physically going to be - she had only wished Jesse’s initial reaction was to be supportive. When he wasn’t she was so angry that he couldn’t be the person she wished he was, but also so angry that she expected unconditional love, and she wasn’t sure where along the whole ordeal she had become this kind of person. 

Jesse was never a “pick me” kind of person; he was selfless, forgiving, and the kindest person she knew. How could she have doubted that? Remembering her verbatim words that drove him away made her sick to her stomach. 

Work is just work. But Jesse is not just Jesse. Jesse Lewis was so much more. 

Before she realized it had been two hours since Jesse walked out and after deliberating her options Anna grabbed her keys and decided it was still best she go find Jesse. She started her car, checked her glove box, and headed straight for Shintaro’s apartment. 

_This time I will make it right._

When Anna rang Shintaro’s doorbell, the door swung open and Shintaro had answered it.

“Ann-” He hurriedly stepped out and closed the door behind himself before finishing his sentence, “You two _have_ to start giving some notice when you decide to show up.” He whispered, “Does Jesse know you’re coming?” 

She shook her head, “How is he?” 

“The usual.” Shintaro sighed, “Beating himself up for saying the wrong things. Can’t shut up about how he ruined it.” Only Shintaro saw this insecure side of Jesse. Drunk Jesse lets out everything he’d been bottling up.

Those words broke Anna’s heart, like someone reached in, grabbed it and stomped on it. 

Shintaro knew she didn’t mean it; he genuinely liked her.

“Anna, between you and I…” He continued, “I know it’s none of my business, but…don’t go anywhere please.” 

She had never seen this side of Shintaro, and part of her was glad Jesse had such a wonderful friend. 

“You don’t know half of what he went through to be with you. He would never say it. But just know he is worth the whole world, okay?” Shintaro finished and softly smiled, “Hold on, let me get him for you.” 

Anna waited at the door while Shintaro went to fetch her drunk boyfriend; she couldn’t wait to see him for some reason, like she had all the words in the world waiting for him. 

“Anna.” The moment Jesse’s eyes landed on her, he dashed to her and hugged her. He smelled like a mix of tequila and scotch. He was warmer than usual, and god she missed the way he made her feel. 

He caressed her entire body into his, as if he didn’t hold on she would dissolve from him, “Take the job Anna. I don’t care. I don’t want to lose you. Not like this. Not ever.” He sounded like he had been holding those words in and they finally spilled out from his mouth. 

She nodded in his embrace, although it didn’t matter what Jesse said and then she returned the tight hug, running her hand up his back in the same fear that he would suddenly vanish, “Thank god you’re here.” 

Anna looked up at Jesse and he gently put his hand on the back of her head, “I’m not going.” She smiled through tears of happiness, “Chances will come up again. But you - are once in a lifetime.”

At the end of the day, Jesse would be more precious than whatever compromise she had to make. 

“In exchange, you have to promise me something.” 

At this point, Jesse was about to agree to just about anything. She wore that little mischievous smirk of hers, that was part evil part sadistic, and dug a small pouch out of her pocket. 

“This.” From the pouch, Anna pulled out a gold ring, similar to Jesse's large one, but also too thin to be his. Jesse stared at her in utter drunken confusion. 

“I got it for me, to match yours.” She looked down at the ring; she had been wanting something that was just theirs. That was only their little secret. That he could wear his on stage and anywhere he went, and she could also carry a small piece of him like a thin red string connected the two rings. 

“But I want you to have it.” When she made sure no one was around, she got on one knee, “Jesse, will you marry me?” Anna looked up and offered the ring. 

Jesse couldn't stifle his laugh and his ears grew red from both embarrassment and endearment. 

“You gotta be kidding me.” 

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes.” 

She jumped up from excitement and straight onto Jesse. As he was holding her, she confirmed once again, “Yes really?” 

He nodded, “But not for the record. Just know I will marry you. But I will propose and I will give you everything I have and more. For the rest of our lives. ” 

He held out his hand, “But for now, if it’s okay, I’ll wear the ring on my pinky.” The width was really only big enough for his pinky anyway. 

“Can’t wait to grow old together.” Anna smiled. And it was like the first time. The way her smile could warm a cold winter day. 

_最後の人に出逢えたよね_

_(isn't it great that i was able to meet you as the last person.)_

_**see end note_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "In Japanese, "the last person" (saigo no hito) refers to the last great love of a lifetime, as in someone you'll fall in love with and get married to and live out the rest of your life with. "


End file.
